I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
