where does the pee come out of this thing
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
