i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
