I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
