all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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