I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
