come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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