she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
