Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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