It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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