Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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