Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I have fence marks all over my body
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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