Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
