I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
