I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize