just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
