you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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