I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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