just come out here and I will go home with you...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
