she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize