Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize