eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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