I swear she didn't look like that last week.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Sorry about my life...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
