My friends, they love my intelligence
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
