once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
