I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
