He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Randomize
