How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
