Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
