All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
