My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
