I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
