That's intense
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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