we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
