so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
