On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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