Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize