the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
