Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
