I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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