My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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