did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you win again, gameday.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
