That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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