Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
