I'm really into asian looking animals
kristin has been a bad kristin
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
