doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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