Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
