don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
