Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
