it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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