We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I am available for nakedness
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize