This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
