fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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