hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
