You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
