I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize