I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
