Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Fuck appropriateness.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
