We are two peas in an std pod
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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