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I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
