so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
