just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
