I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Your tits are I can't wait for
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
