i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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