White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Rumble strips road head = magical
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
