are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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